How do I get the step dad to stay out of Mine and the Ex wife’s business?
I am a good father. I have a 7 year old girl and 5 year old boy. I have a 5 bedroom home. They have their own rooms. I get them every Thursday. I take them to school every Friday morning. On my weedends, I pick them back up Friday and take them to school Monday. I had to beg for this time. I told my ex that if she would give me that time I would agree to my Child Support to go up. My child support tripled and I took on twice the total time with my kids.
The point is that I love spending time with my kids and I would give anything to spend more time with them. I have never missed a weekend and provide med insurance for them, I provide them with their own rooms, their own clothes, toys, movies, music, take them to church. I do all of these things and yet I still get grief from their step dad, he tells me I’m not a man when I came to pick my kids up today. He told me that my child support of $1,300 + $330 for med insurance isn’t enough and she isn’t happy and the important thing is to keep her happy. And that I will screw everything up and if I want everyone to get along I need to give her a check tonight. (She spent her money assuming the new C.S. check was coming and it’s not due till my next check. And she says I should have told her. I told her, I don’t write the check and she new it wasn’t due yet, but for some reason… I owe her. Not according to the attorney general but according to her. But yet instead of talking to me she gets her husband to go talk to me when I pick my kids up.
The last time he did this, I arranged for my kids (with my ex) to pick my kids up on her sunday because they were the ring barrer and flower girl in my brother’s wedding. When I showed up, HE decided he didn’t like that idea, wouldn’t let me have them when I showed up, pulled a gun on me, told me to leave and slammed the door. I punched the window on his door and ended up getting 10 months probation, 80 hours community service and paid back $2,500 to him for the window and court fees.
So how do I get this to stop. She won’t stop it, she is the one provoking it. He is very very cocky and irrogant. The most irregant person I have every known. He has a way of pushing your buttons because he knows I can do nothing about it. When I was married to my ex, she knew him and mentioned he was an irregant prick that treats his wife like crap… So I just don’t know what to do. It takes every pride swallowing inch of my buddy to not beat the crap out of him. I don’t fight, but this guy wouldn’t be a problem. He was always the guy making more money, and providing more than I could for my kids. This last past year I got a huge pay raise, new house, new truck. My ex wife is very materialistic and I have all the things the begged me to have when we were together. He can’t get them for her and now I have them with my current wife. I don’t know if this has anything to do with it. Like he has to belittle me because of his self esteem issues…
It sounds like you are a wonderful father.Wait in the car for the kids to come out.After that altercation I would never set foot in his house again.
March 4th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Just pay them the minimum and work with a lawyer and the courts to see your kids as much as you can. She isn’t spending that money on the kids anyway.
This guy she is with sounds like a total loser. Don’t play his game.
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March 4th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
Better to kick them out of yu life soon and shift to another place soon with yu wife.
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March 4th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
you need to go straight to your lawyer and see if there is some type of restraining order you can file on this guy. there has to be a law that will protect your rights to a reasonable exchange when it comes to your children. you may be advised to have a law enforcement officer present during these exchanges, which would be in your favor if Prince Charming chooses to act stupid then you have a very good and reliable witness for the court date that i foresee in your future! good luck!
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March 4th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
YOU CAN’T
THE STEP WILL ALWAYS THINK HE CAN STEP ON YOU
YOUR EX WILL ALWAYS KEEP HIM INVOLVED
THE STEP DAD WILL WALK THE BRIDE DOWN THE AISLE
YOUR EX IS "D" WHIPPED
GOOD LUCK
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March 4th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
It sounds like you are a wonderful father.Wait in the car for the kids to come out.After that altercation I would never set foot in his house again.
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March 4th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
.
Have you asked a attorney? This is more like blackmail and the kids are her pawns.
Document everything, talk to a attorney. You have a lot going for you and you need to get help before she ups the stakes.
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March 4th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Pay what your divorce decree says and nothing more. You are there to support your children and not your ex and especially not her new spouse.
You must have a child visitation section in your divorce decree. Do exactly what it says. Keep a copy in the glove box of your car. If that fool tells you that you can’t have them you take out that cell phone and call the police. They will get the kids for you. You will need to show them the court ordered visitation.
Then you take your decree and go to Family Court. You want a modification of the visitation to include more visitation.
Now if she tries to take you to court for more money – she has to show a change of circumstance where she is poorer than she was. She must produce IRS statements for her and the new spouse.
Wish you luck.
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March 4th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
They’re both dicks! At the risk of seeing a little less of your kids, for your own happiness and that of your wifes, please speak to an attorney about YOU & your EX dealing with each other about the kids and that HE should not allowed to speak to you. If it means a restraining order or anything to that effect. THEN, please pack your wife and MOVE if possible. You both don’t deserve this mess.
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March 4th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
first thing I would start immediately is not to talk with him at all about the kids or child support anything that the divorce agreement has handled. That’s the way I would answer is accusations and not to play in to his games. Simple statement that is handled in the divorce agreement. The first time he did not allow me my children they would find themselves in court. I would keep a notebook and write all these things down in, they may come in handy some day. Something that worked for me is when the situation permits say something like hmmm you sure to have a good mommy. It will be repeated. It will go along way. Things are going to be different and putting two families together will not be easy. Only you two know your given situation and some ideas you get here will work and some will not. Proceed with care. You have to remember what your ex liked and how you used to get her to do what you wanted.Then you use that if you can and it should help with her keeping her new husband under control. He sounds a little different type person than you are. so he probably will not be around for ever. good luck
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March 4th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Every one has given excellent advice. Document everything. Follow the rules of your divorce to the letter. Keep a copy of it in the glove compartment and call th cops if they refuse to give you your children for visitation. Ignore the step dad, he is insecure and just looking to belittle you for his ego. Go through the legal channels to get more time with your kids. Move away from there as soon as you can (ie when your kids at 18). Good luck to you.
~D~
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March 4th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Request once again that your ex-wife tell him to stay out of your business,& if that doesn’t work,get a restraining order against him,so he can’t come near you,You don’t have to deal with him,& you need to stand up for yourself,even if it takes getting an attorney for this issue.BOL2U
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March 4th, 2010 at 8:26 pm
where is your lawyer? what does the divorce agreement say? Document all the nonsense and take them back to court to get full custody.
again where is your lawyer? where is your children’s lawyer? spend the extra protecting yourself.
you’ve told us just a portion of the story im sure but remember the sooner you all get you stuff together the happier the kids will be.
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im a stepdad trying to negotiate the battlefield of stepkids, ex husbands and wifes with exes.