Comments on: Story Alert! Please read and rate!? http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/ Unique Flower Arrangements Made Easy - DIY Flower Craft Tue, 17 Aug 2010 06:43:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: marys.momma http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/comment-page-1/#comment-756 marys.momma Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:31:59 +0000 http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/#comment-756 That's a good start! Now you should describe some of the early incidents in Angel's life in detail. You could include a little foreshadowing of the poor relationship between her parents. When Angel walks up the aisle to marry the young man she has never met, you can describe her initial fear, and then her reaction when she first sets eyes on him. You can describe his appearance briefly, and then concentrate on his facial expression as he sees her for the first time too, and his voice as he recites his vows. He's probably not any more eager for this match than she is. The most interesting part of the story will be the way these two very young people adapt to being married. Do they get lots of support and encouragement from the people of the town? How do they minimize her father's attempts to control them? What are his parents like? Does the young couple make a private agreement to hold off on any sexual activity until they get to know each other better? Your story is more like a plot outline at the moment. It needs to be a narrative, that is, a readable story. You also should have somebody who's really good in English help you edit it for sentence structure, spelling, and punctuation.<br><b>References : </b><br> That’s a good start! Now you should describe some of the early incidents in Angel’s life in detail. You could include a little foreshadowing of the poor relationship between her parents.

When Angel walks up the aisle to marry the young man she has never met, you can describe her initial fear, and then her reaction when she first sets eyes on him. You can describe his appearance briefly, and then concentrate on his facial expression as he sees her for the first time too, and his voice as he recites his vows. He’s probably not any more eager for this match than she is.

The most interesting part of the story will be the way these two very young people adapt to being married. Do they get lots of support and encouragement from the people of the town? How do they minimize her father’s attempts to control them? What are his parents like? Does the young couple make a private agreement to hold off on any sexual activity until they get to know each other better?

Your story is more like a plot outline at the moment. It needs to be a narrative, that is, a readable story. You also should have somebody who’s really good in English help you edit it for sentence structure, spelling, and punctuation.
References :

]]> By: iiLoveYouSims2 < my youtube http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/comment-page-1/#comment-755 iiLoveYouSims2 < my youtube Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:52:59 +0000 http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/#comment-755 WOW. please. im going to e-mail you. Please send me the rest. its actally amazing,. i love it! its so much better than mine the only thing though is that bits of it repeated. :P other than its sooo good.<br><b>References : </b><br> WOW.
please. im going to e-mail you. Please send me the rest.
its actally amazing,.
i love it!
its so much better than mine
the only thing though is that bits of it repeated. :P
other than its sooo good.
References :

]]> By: Anonymous http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/comment-page-1/#comment-754 Anonymous Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:05:59 +0000 http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/#comment-754 um its a bit unrealistic in the part where shes 5 or something and saves cats in a fire.....make her older...like when shes 5 she read the story then when shes 8 (or older if u can) she saves the cats then 10 she saves the drowning guy...but still is unrealistic shes still too young! w/e its a story. anyways make it more interesting like the dad was actually the one who killed the mom and it was his plan to get richer all along and then angel becomes an assasin to avenge her mother it would be sooooo awesome!<br><b>References : </b><br> um its a bit unrealistic in the part where shes 5 or something and saves cats in a fire…..make her older…like when shes 5 she read the story then when shes 8 (or older if u can) she saves the cats then 10 she saves the drowning guy…but still is unrealistic shes still too young! w/e its a story. anyways make it more interesting like the dad was actually the one who killed the mom and it was his plan to get richer all along and then angel becomes an assasin to avenge her mother it would be sooooo awesome!
References :

]]> By: Vishnu V http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/comment-page-1/#comment-753 Vishnu V Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:30:59 +0000 http://diyflowercraft.com/blog/186/story-alert-please-read-and-rate/#comment-753 dude dats awsome, now do i get 5 points or something?<br><b>References : </b><br> dude dats awsome, now do i get 5 points or something?
References :

]]>