For my nieces wedding?
I am her wedding planer (This is my business and I’m giving this service to her for free.) I also am making her silk flower arrangements for free. I was just informed by another of her aunts (on her mothers side – who made it clear that she wouldn’t be able to assist with any details of my niece’s wedding because she had to plan her step-daughters wedding) that she’s making the arrangements for the bridal shower. I was informed that I’m expected to show up and where she’s registered and which gift in particular I needed to give her. (I also have a wedding planned for the day of her shower and CAN NOT attend as I have to work!)
I think what I’m giving her is plenty of a gift – but wanted to ask if I should be expected to give her more in addition to what I’m giving already for free.
That’s just it – the gift she wants me to get get her is the MOST expensive one. I’m already giving her something wirth over $1500 including the flowers….I’m not spending $500 on this present. I was told to "send the present regardless of being able to be there…."
I think what you are giving her is enough. She could of had to plan the wedding herself or hire someone and she could have ended up paying for flowers herself. The other aunt has no right calling you and telling you you have to get her a gift and what gift you have to give. I would simple tell her you wont be able to attend the shower because you have to work and if she doesn’t like it she can shove it.
September 27th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Well, considering its family, I think you’re being a bit stingy. If it was just anyone, yes free services is awesome. But family…I mean wouldn’t charge your own family, would you?
So I say providing the other gift isn’t that extravagant….. give her the gift.
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September 27th, 2009 at 11:04 am
well your free services could be considered her wedding gift, but if you were going to the shower I’d say to bring a gift for her. if you can’t attend the shower though then there’s no need to get her a shower gift so you’re all set.
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been to 21 weddings and been in 4
September 27th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Tell the aunt to bog off and mind her own business. I would get them a gift like the scented candles in NEXT (£45) for their wedding present, and as you can’t go to the shower, don’t go. Your neice will understand, and I’m sure she would be happy with just a small gift, besides the planning of her wedding and the flowers. After all, it’s what your neice wants that matters, not some stupid aunt!
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September 27th, 2009 at 11:52 am
If you are paying for the supplies for the flowers – - then I think this is more than enough of a gift from you. But definitely give her a congratulatory card at the wedding.
If you are only giving your services/time for free and she is paying for the floral supplies – - while I still think that is a very generous gift, I would give your niece a little something from you so she has a physical something from you as a gift for her wedding. NOT a $500 gift – - maybe around $25 price range.
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September 27th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I think what you are giving her is enough. She could of had to plan the wedding herself or hire someone and she could have ended up paying for flowers herself. The other aunt has no right calling you and telling you you have to get her a gift and what gift you have to give. I would simple tell her you wont be able to attend the shower because you have to work and if she doesn’t like it she can shove it.
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bride to be 2010
September 27th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Don’t get her anything else. It sounds like her aunt is ridiculous. Especially don’t get her something that someone says you ‘have’ to get. That makes me mad and it’s not even me!
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September 27th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I would call or email the shower host & politely inform her that you have already arranged for the bride’s gift & that unfortunately you won’t be able to attend the shower. I would just leave it short, sweet, but direct.
Gifts should come from your heart, not another’s direction.
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September 27th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
If you’re a wedding planner, you have to know this is completely insane! Honest, I don’t get why you’re even asking about it. There’s no such thing as being forced to show up at a shower, and it’s even more bizarre to be forced to give a gift, let alone one this pricy.
I’d honestly give a heads up to the bride. I’d sure want to know if someone was running around terrorizing my friends and family.
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September 27th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
tell auntie as politely as you can to ‘pound sand’, that your services as a wedding planner IS your gift and if you choose, you will send a gift of YOUR choice…….you have another wedding to work so your attendance will not be a possibility.
As far as manners, guess that one grew up in a barn yard.
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